Painting word pictures

Kamakshi Balasubramanian

As teachers, we know that teaching writing skills works best when we deliver it in small steps.
Let us take descriptive writing as our example.
Description writing skill 1. Emotions. Show, don’t tell.
Have all the children write down one sentence in their notebooks to describe an angry person. The word “angry” or any of its synonyms MAY NOT appear in the sentence.
Believe me, your class is going to learn the meaning of “writer’s block” with this small task.
Now is when you ask questions.
What does an angry person do?
You are likely to hear the following: looks angry; looks mad; looks cross.
Yes, you say. You remind them that “angry” and its synonyms may not be used. So you proceed to ask: Can you describe what “looking angry” actually looks like? What does an angry person do or say that shows anger?
An angry person glares; bangs the door; punches someone or something.
Better. What else does an angry person do?
Shouts at the top of one’s voice. Yells. Screams. Shouts rude things. Breaks something. Hits someone.
Okay. We are getting somewhere. Any other kind of behaviour you know when someone is angry? Is anger always loud?
Refuses to speak; walks out; speaks sarcastically.
And so on.
Once this has happened, students should now try to write one short sentence describing an angry person.
You might get some examples like this:
“He slammed the door and walked out.”
“She yelled at the top of her voice making everyone nervous.”
“We glared at each other, not saying a word.”

Now have each person use that sentence in a mini context. You could once again provide ideas through questions. What happened to make a person act in that way? Who else was there at that moment? How else did that person express anger? What was the immediate outcome?

Here’s a possible writing sample.
Rajiv was pleading with his mother to be allowed to go with his friends to the movies. She had said “no” and would not budge. Instead, she told Rajiv that he had to clean his room, and if it was not clean within the next hour, he would not be allowed to watch the IPL match. Rajiv’s body grew tense and he got up from the dining table, leaving his half-eaten sandwich on the plate. He looked as if he wanted to say something, but he quickly controlled his urge, turned around, slammed the door, and walked out.

This kind of exercise usually works best with a strict time limit. Students are encouraged to see each other’s work. How the teacher might organize the class into groups to achieve this would depend on the class size, available space and time. It is very useful in any case to have all the work, complete as well as incomplete, on a display in the classroom for students to see. You can be certain that all students will find some stimulus and inspiration in the work of their peers.

Description writing skill 2. Place and atmosphere.
Show, don’t tell.

Exactly as before with the exercise on emotions, this time students write a brief description of a place. A restaurant, a bus-station, a jungle lodge, the beach, any place is fine.

This exercise goes better with prompts and stimulus questions. For example,
What is the time at the place being described? What are the sounds, sights, smells? Is there something distinct you could normally expect to feel on your skin or taste at this place? As in the earlier exercise, students have to refrain from using the topic word or phrase in this “workshop” description.

This could be an outcome of such an exercise.
It was only 7.30 in the morning but every table was taken. We waited in the lobby, the smell of frying dosas making me hungrier every minute. The air was thick with the aroma of coffee. The lucky ones who were eating their favourite breakfast dishes were talking so loudly that their voices drowned the metallic clatter of plates and spoons.

Description writing skill 3.
Object/phenomenon.
Show, don’t tell.

Students describe a flower, an outfit, a gadget, an injury, a thunderstorm, a meteor shower.

By this time, you could have students with initiative suggest question prompts. Working in groups or teams, a whole class could produce some brief, lively writing samples on a variety of topics.

Extension work
Teachers might find it useful to set such writing assignments with clearly stated requirements.

For example, students could be asked to write a short descriptive paragraph using the “Show, don’t tell” technique as well as a comparison/analogy.

Another – somewhat more advanced – exercise would require students to write a descriptive paragraph that has a surprise ending, in which the reader is expecting one thing but the writer reveals something unexpected. This works best with description that is ambiguous – say, tears flowing because someone is laughing hard; excess thrill and excitement that resembles anger; ominous sounding noises that end in anti-climax.

Conclusion
Over two class sessions, students understand and practice the principle of “show, don’t tell,” so useful in descriptive writing. At this point, a teacher might wish to give the students a chance to read a strong example of such writing by a master. The passage chosen need not be long at all. In fact, the shorter, the better.

What is the point of this exercise?
The “Show, don’t tell” principle guides the writer’s attention to concrete details of a time, place, and emotion, using sense perception. The writer makes an effort to convey how things look, feel, sound, smell, and taste. Such description is original, individual, and conveys a sense of immediacy.

This kind of writing calls upon the writer to reflect on personal experience. As we all know it is so much easier to write about what we know, and know from experience.

Such writing exercises also sensitize students to the writing of others. It helps when students read literary passages closely to explore details that create an image or a feeling.

To sum up, occasional writing exercises to introduce and practice one useful technique, such as our “Show, don’t tell,” here, helps students draw upon their personal experience to find their own voice. Over a period of time, a variety of techniques thus learned, will prepare students to embark on writing projects with a reasonable level of self-awareness and confidence.

The author is an educator and writer with significant experience teaching at secondary and tertiary levels. She can be reached at papukamakshi@gmail.com.