What we can learn from the children

Vimala Nandakumar

The Shaktii Girl’s Education Trust started its activities in June 2015, as an after-school programme for underprivileged girls of Kharghar, Navi Mumbai. Only girls of class VIII and IX enroll in our programme. We are now 10 years old and it has been an exciting and extremely satisfying journey.

The girls who enroll with us are from the economically disadvantaged sections of the city, apart from being academically challenged. Most of the girls are first generation learners. We provide two years of intense training in English, maths, science, life skills, and also provide personality development. At the time of enrollment, the girls walk in with hesitation and diffidence. After two years of training, we see confident young girls leave the centre, ready to take on the world.

Most of the 200 odd girls at Shaktii are on the path of realizing their dreams, having witnessed their seniors basking in the glory of theirs. One of the girls has become a doctor, two are preparing for UPSC exams, two sisters have completed their graduation.

Every year, the mentors at the centre observe certain issues with the girls. Some of them are common to all girls. New girls from different backgrounds and different schools join us. They know that the mentors welcome them with open arms. However, the initial days are always challenging for the girls as they feel that they have to be accepted by their team mates. And yet, sometimes they surprise you with their maturity and end up teaching you a lesson or two as the two incidents narrated below illustrate.

Incident 1

A few days into the Shaktii programme, in 2023, we invited a guest who wanted to play an ice breaker game.

He asked the girls to take a sheet of paper and list down their friends’ names.

Silence followed for the next five or ten minutes. Each girl thinking and worried that she should not even inadvertently miss out on any of her friends’ names so that she doesn’t offend them.

After a few minutes, our guest asked the girls to give him their sheets.

To our shock, one of the girls had not written even a single name on her sheet.

The whole class went silent as they had also not expected this.

When asked why she had not written any name, the girl said that she had no friend and that no one liked her at the centre. We could hear her clearly, as the rest were stunned by her response.

The girl was in tears and could not speak for the next two or three minutes about how she felt isolated.

Even before we could grapple with the girl’s response and address it in some way, Arpana sprang up from her place, shaking her head vigorously , saying that this girl’s name was first on her list. “Dear, you are my best friend!” she said lovingly with a smile. Siddi was the next to show us her list, which also had the girl’s name!

Soon all the girls came rushing towards this girl, surrounded her and hugged her while she continued to cry, for a different reason now.

She must have felt miserable not being able to read the minds of her classmates. Most of this inferiority complex is created by the home environment, the parents, and relatives. This girl loved her one-year-old brother, but the extra affection he received from her father must have been difficult for the 13-year-old to handle. In addition, her dark skin and weight were other issues that bothered her parents, who in fact should have been telling her that these were non-issues.

She carried the baggage of being a non-entity at home to the school and the Shaktii Centre all these days. Since we focus on how the girls feel and give them opportunities to speak their minds and ask for support, we could detect this early at the centre. She had painted everyone with the same brush. Today, she feels accepted by all, more importantly, she has accepted herself.

She is probably the most gifted and spontaneous girl of the batch. We are hoping that she continues her journey with more confidence.

Incident 2

On 22 June, as part of the orientation programme, we had planned a fieldtrip to a Zumba studio, where the girls would also play the African djembe drums.

Seven girls had extra classes till late in the afternoon and therefore would not be able to join us. The rest of the girls at Shaktii – former, current, and new – were all excited.

One day before the fieldtrip, I got a call from Siddi, one of the seven girls, saying that the extra classes were cancelled. She wanted to know if the seven of them could join us.

The bus was full and there was no way I could ask these seven girls to join.

I was upset and miserable. I pleaded with Siddi not to tell the other six girls that I couldn’t take them as the bus was full.

Siddi, the 14-year-old, came up with the most astonishing and mature reply, “It’s perfectly alright ma’am. Please go ahead and enjoy with the rest of the girls.”

Her voice did not reveal any trace of disappointment! I was amazed at her response and asked her how she could be so calm?

Her reply came as a shocker. “You, at Shaktii, taught us this too ma’am.”

We feel blessed to be spending four hours a day among these incredible girls of Shaktii.

It is a misconception that we mentor them. In fact, there have been instances where they have mentored us.

Vimala Nandakumar has an experience of more than five decades of teaching mathematics to students of grades 6 to 12 in various boards like CBSE, ICSE, Maharashtra Board, and IGCSE (University of Cambridge). She has been the Principal of international schools in Mumbai and Jakarta. Currently, she is the chairperson of her NGO – Shaktii Girl’s Education Trust, which runs an after-school programme for girls of the underprivileged community. She can be reached at vimalanandakumar4@gmail.com.